lack of will

i just so want to be so serious but when things are goin to get there i'm startin to play around
so there is nothing more obvious that am playin in vain
cause i'm vain & gamer

everything i do was seen and will be seen & transcripted just because i'm there the time is needed
yep, admit, sometimes my presence, ma fuckin analitic&huntin for self presence, annoys me

but, yep, admit again, i got the solution: self-distruction! not even ma self is able to stand that when i'm doin it right

&but&yep&admit&again i know i should a know cause i've passed some time ago over the anxiety of not bein my self - ha ha that's futile - you can't be actually anything/anyone but yo'self

so the only question available&answerable for now is how

&so again that's what i'm doin right now

& i've got no choice since i'm the only teacher and the only learnin source i undoubtedly trust